I’m aware that I haven’t written about our house yet here, like- at all- aside from little mentions of the work & our life around it. It’s in part because I’m personally more excited about the design aspects of the reno. & about the ways it’s been impacting us, lifestyle-wise and
relationally. But it’s also, quite honestly, because we’ve been total overdocumenters & organizing the photos to prepare posts at this stage is overwhelming to me. I’d rather wait until we move & I have the space to collect my thoughts on it all, not to mention the time. I’ve decided that while it certainty will have its place here on the blog, the actual WORK part of it won’t be the main feature.
Because let’s be real : we’re not experts. We’re a husband and wife team who decided to take on the crazy project of buying and fixing a home to live in. I’d LOVE to share about what motivated that decision and what it means to make a home. I’d even love to share about the level of grit and perfectionism it took to subway tile the shower ourselves & perhaps even where we bought that tile, but I don’t want to tell you HOW to do it. Because the internet is already ripe with information and professionals who are better able to handle that than myself. [Plus, frankly, it’s not all that interesting to read about. #sorrynotsorry].
anyways, some thoughts on the process for now…
We’re in this complete in-between season of our lives & it’s starting to catch up with us. I just chatted with a friend this morning who has been teaching in Ecuador. She finally made the decision to return the US rather than teach or travel the following school year. Her flight has been booked & she is READY emotionally & mentally, but has to finish her classes. She said it’s taking everything in her not to pack. That even seeing her home address is making her anxious to be there.
I completely understand. When we moved last, I felt that my home was being taken from me. My husband & I had just settled in a cozy, 2-bedroom duplex. The decor was finally how we wanted it to be, our boxes were all unpacked, & we were spending our evenings walking our dog in the neighborhood park. I loved the place. It was a total downsize from the 4-bedroom cape cod we had previously rented, but it fit our needs perfectly. We had moved just following my college graduation, so it was a complete whirlwind, emotional summer that was finally winding down.
Then I got sick. And it turned out to be environmentally related (story for another post) and we had to move. Just like that.
Fast forward to today. We are temporarily living with my parents in a home that is not ours. We are building our own home. We are homeowners. We bought a place with potential for some permanence. We are about to submit our second mortgage payment. And we are not living there yet.
The home is weeks away from being livable. Until then, however, it feels like we’re working two jobs or even leading two split lives. It will all be worth it. I know that. But this is the hard part of owning a fixer upper. I don’t want to pretend that it’s all been easy. It hasn’t. It’s been incredibly hard work, demanding, draining, & patience-trying. But it’s also something I would do all over again in a heartbeat. It’s a dream actualized. It’s OURS.
This in-between season is making us a bit crazy. But that’s exactly the thing. It’s a season. I don’t pretend to understand the unexpected string of circumstances that brought us here. I hope that the next season of our lives will be a bit quieter and stable, but I don’t want to presume that it’s owed to us. I don’t have control over it. But we rest in the promise that “the one who calls you is faithful.”