On Unmet Expectations

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I had a bit of a breakdown in church recently.

Suddenly life had started to feel especially hard and overwhelming, and I had no words for the heaviness over my heart.  The last projects at the house started to feel the hardest.  I started to react to my husband in anger, nitpicking the smallest decisions like spacers for floor tile.  I even began to resent our house itself, missing our last 2 rentals and longing for what no longer was.

Disappointment.

My pastor shared the passage where John the Baptist sent word to Jesus in prison asking him if He was the one.  Jesus responded by telling him to look at what He was doing, and to not take offense at him. John the Baptist had seen the signs with his own eyes and proclaimed the coming Lord, but in prison perhaps had doubts because his personal expectations of who Jesus was and what he would do were not met.

My personal expectations have certainly been shook up over the past year.  When I got sick last August, I never expected that it would take over 6-8 months before I felt like some semblance of myself again.  I never expected that 4 mos. after moving we would have to move again, and I never expected to quit my job(s).  I never expected the house that we bought to have the extent of (pet) damage that it did.  and on.

I’ve been challenged in more ways than I thought were possible.  I didn’t realize that I was becoming bitter and numb as a reaction.  When you put a bulwark up against your heart, it can become a barrier to healing.  Instead of being able to count the ways the Lord has been moving & the ways I have been blessed and cared for during this year, I’ve been fixated on my unmet expectations and I’ve been dangerously close to taking offense.

As I said in this instagram post, I’ve been praying (we’ve been praying), “Lord, it seems like this _______, but show us where You are.”

Jesus told John the Baptist to look and see – the blind are seeing. the lame are walking. the lepers are healed, the deaf are hearing, the dead are raised…..

don’t miss it.

2 thoughts on “On Unmet Expectations

  1. Michaela, thanks for sharing the inner most part of your soul. God always uses those experiences when things start taking a downward spiral. Sometimes it’s moments, sometimes it’s hours and sometimes it takes weeks and months and extended time to really get the hang of the whys. But HE will somewhere along the line begin to show you some of the answers to the whys’ I share this in truth of some of our experiences. IF decisions were made with God’s confirmation and there appears some rough spots to walk thru, just know He hasn’t recalled the project or even what may be relating to not only your home but a calling to His work in that area.. I don’t want to sound like a ‘know it all’ but truly have been there and done that. So many times as Christians in faith believing He sets on the path and we perhaps haven’t thought that Satan will be at every turn to attack. I have found in my life ‘after all is said and done’ that He was well aware of knowing the experiences along the way were the lessons He still wanted to bring into our life.. You and Solomon are Christians with great potential. Of course, I haven’t walked in your shoes, but I do feel He has similar ways of working with all of us. (Jeremiah 29:11 “I know the plans I have for you…plans for your welfare, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”. Praying for the work in progress, courage and faith unending and maybe if God is ready to give you a glimpse of all that is ahead for you both. Love you!!

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  2. Thank you for sharing your heart from a raw and vulnerable spot. Your passion for the Lord, along with honesty and willingness to grow, is so beautiful!

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