Before you read this post, I want to say up front that I am not perfect at any of the suggestions I’m going to give below. In fact, they don’t come natural for me. I am a fairly independent person, as is my husband. We’re both used to taking care of ourselves and often fail at asking for help from the other person when we most need it. But marriage is a beautiful partnership and opportunity to serve the other person, so it is well worth the work put into being intentional. Also, please know – you don’t have to be domestically inclined to be a supportive wife! Your ways may look different than mine, and that’s okay.
1. Prayer. This seems so easy and obvious, but how often is it actually practiced? I finally stopped thinking about praying for my husband at work and started actually doing it when he had a particularly frustrating month. Not only did his stress level start to lower, but his success at work suddenly majorly picked up! He started coming home encouraged rather than discouraged. Just knowing that I was praying for him encouraged him. This can feel a little awkward at first, so ask him what areas he would like prayer for, and then trust the Spirit to lead you from there. For example, some things I prayed for were: encouragement instead of overwhelm, energy, motivation, that he would see the fruit of his labor.
2. Speak to his love language. My husband is really receptive to acts of service, so one way I implement this is by occasionally packing his lunch (or even just buying the food he can use to pack his own). Does he need me to do this? Of course not. But he appreciates it & it’s one way he knows I am thinking of him.
3. Create a calm atmosphere at home. The atmosphere of the home has a great impact on the people in it! There are several layers to this concept, and the first is the actual physical state of your home. Believe me when I say I’m not telling you to have a spotless, perfectly clean home. But it’s well worth the effort of focusing on a couple of areas. For us, having a clean kitchen with clear counters means a lot to Solomon when he enters the door. He hates clutter, so it helps to make the home feel calming and inviting to him at the end of a long day. The second layer regards your own heart and attitude. Do you cultivate graciousness? Are you someone you’d want to see at the end of the day?
4. Be aware of the challenges he is facing daily. Does he have an important meeting and presentation? Do you ask him how it went? Do you talk about his day and really listen to his heart? I have to make a point of asking my husband questions like, “how did that appointment go?” and actually focusing on the answer and sharing in his joy or struggle.
5. Do little, thoughtful things to show you care. Would it mean a lot to your husband if you just bought his favorite beer when you went to the grocery store? Made a dinner he loves? Bought him the new cd of his favorite band? Or made some paleo banana bread just because? (This ties into #2.)
Please share your thoughts & any things YOU do below!