Did any of you notice Tuesday’s post was missing? Probably not, but I wish I’d had the chance to get it up. On top of the stress of moving, I’ve been sick and not feeling like doing much of anything but lying on the couch. It’s making the whole getting-back-into-a-normal-routine-after-moving- thing difficult. The good news is at least we have Netflix now – haha! Anyways, I dug up this old post from my former blog (some words on that here). It may be two years old, but it is still every bit as relevant in my life and maybe even in yours. I hope you enjoy.
You’ve done a lot for yourself. You got through college, got married, and learned how to keep a house.”
My grandma has told me something close to this on two occasions now after patiently listening to me voice my concerns about what the next step of my life may be. Both times the encouragement touched me deeply, but especially the last part. About being married and all the complexities that entails. About learning to keep a house.
I’m 23. The select advice someone my age gets usually involves matters of schooling, career, job—accomplishment. No one besides my grandma has ever acknowledged the process of learning to live with someone else and create a home with them. I wouldn’t call marriage an accomplishment per say, but matters of marriage and home are seldom mentioned. I recognize that I am young. It was my choice to get married before my senior year of college and to move into the home we spent the first year of our married life in 6 months prior. I recognize that the national average age for marriage for women is 27, and I did it days away from 22.
Yet. There is so much I have learned on my own (and with my husband). I’ve learned to care for myself but also for another person, to put dinner on the table that is both nourishing and quick as the days demand. I’ve learned to live with another person—not just a roommate, but my best friend, my husband who I am closer to than anyone else—who has certain particularities like his preference for an organized home. I’ve learned not only to clean/tend the house, but to share those duties with my willing and capable partner. I’ve made decorating compromises, learning to let some things go for the sake of nurturing his unique artistic sense. I could go on, but this is not my purpose.
With all of the focus on career, it concerns me that the idea of creating a home falls to the wayside. Even with single friends! If you spend your life prior to marriage focusing only on work and your accomplishments and your apartment is nothing more than a place to sleep, how much harder will it be to set up a home with someone if you’ve never learned to do so on your own? We are beings in need of places of rest—of rooms of our own. We are beings whose bodies needs care—lest we burn out. That’s not only a Biblical principle but a well-documented principle scientifically. Home can be a place of belonging, of tending for oneself and for others, of expressing creativity and enjoying the state of being.
photo credits death to the stock. alterations mine
My point now is this: do not undermine the value of creating home, whether single or married. Do not undermine the value of relationships, rest, and everything besides pure accomplishment. I say this as someone who has done exactly that and am myself in the process of shifting my priorities to reflect my beliefs.
linking up with I Choose Joy for From House To Home