Let’s Talk About Money

Let’s talk about money, shall we?

In January, Solomon and I read the Complete Guide to Money by Dave Ramsey. Despite having similar goals, we struggled to be on the same page when it came to practically managing our money. I am hyper analytic in my approach – what Dave Ramsey calls the true “nerd” of the relationship. I have always had a system, even when my system has failed us. My system was great and untouchable and never made a lot of sense to my partner.

unnamed

I allowed my insecurity about money and my need to be in control dictate how our money was managed. I paid the bills. I cried at unexpected purchases. I didn’t ask for help when I needed it. When Solomon realized the emotional toll handling the finances was taking on me, he asked to take it over. I handed him my big system and when he didn’t follow it to the letter I doubted his wisdom and took back control again, and in his discouragement he let me.

And then I read chapter two of the Complete Guide to Money where Dave says that every marriage has a Nerd and a Free Spirit in regards to money and that it is okay to allow each individual to have their strength. Following his suggestions:

  1. I draft the budget.
  2. I present the budget simply in a timely manner. Solomon listens.
  3. Solomon (free spirit) changes something about budget & makes it ours.

These three principles carry so much weight. We have always had similar goals about how we use our money, but it is no longer a struggle to feel united.  I can play to my strength, but the burden of money management is not resting on my shoulders. Solomon understands how the budget is drafted and I respect and allow the items on it to be as much his choice as they are mine. His free spirit keeps my nerd balanced.

My system is no longer just mine – and I am so much better for it.
I have so much more to say on this subject, but I will leave that there for today. Do you have a similar dynamic in your relationship? Let me know your thoughts and I’ll address them as I explore how this shift impacts us both practically and emotionally in posts to follow.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s